January, not April, is the cruellest month

Practical tips to help you over those January Back to Work Blues

TS Eliot was wrong. January is the cruellest month. After the excess of Christmas and New Year, most of us go back to work depriving ourselves of something as we attempt, initially at least, to keep our New Year resolutions. It is a long month, the days are dark, we spend too much money in the run up to Christmas and then endure that long, cold, miserable wait for the first payday of the year.

But does it have to feel so gloomy? Maybe not, if Jules McClean, Clinical Advisor and qualified Psychotherapist from www.counsellingdirectory.org.uk is to be believed. Here is her list of suggestions for ‘How to Beat the ‘Blue Monday Blues’:

  1. Try not to be influenced by the automatic suggestion that you will be depressed on this day in particular!
  2. Plan something lovely to do so that you have something to look forward to or simply be with someone who inspires or nourishes you. Avoid being with people who are negative during this time.
  3. Get as much fresh air as possible, go for a walk – there’s always something to be inspired by in the great outdoors.
  4. Offer to help someone who needs it. Giving up your time for others often engenders a good feeling within.
  5. A 5 minute mediation with deep breathing allows you to be connected again and take you out of the low mood.
  6. Write down thoughts, feelings and behaviours in situations that are stressful
  7. Graded Exposure– list in order of difficulty, the situations that tend to be avoided and then confront each one separately, starting with the easiest.
  8. Thought stopping – put an elastic band around a wrist. On every occurrence of an unwanted thought, ‘ping’ the band, shout ‘STOP’ to yourself and deliberately think about something else. When you improve you’ll be able to do away with the band and change thoughts automatically.
  9. Think about and write down 3 good things per day to be grateful for.
  10. And finally….exercise it really does help with low mood/depression. Set yourself a goal of 30 minutes every other day if possible.

A Simple Meditation to Help You Relax

  • Let your body relax, pay attention to your natural in and out-breath. As you do this imagine that with each in-breath you are drawing the air in through the soles of your feet, up through your legs and into your torso.
  • As you let go and exhale imagine the reverse happening. The air leaving your torso, flowing down through your legs and out through the soles of your feet.
  • Add one of the following:
    ◊ On the in-breath silently think ‘I am’ and on the out-breath think ‘letting go’.
    ◊ On the in-breath imagine the colour of calmness (colour to suit you) flowing into your body. On the out-breath imagine the colour of tension flowing down through your body and out through your feet.
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Career advice for the Menopausal Woman

Every now and then the menopausal woman should take the time to connect in a truly meaningful way with her inner bitch. There are few more loyal sources of strength in the daily battles we face both at home and in the office. The best survival strategy for peace in our time is, of course, to release your inner angel at home and save the dark side for those truly worthy opponents in the corporate world – like the new-on-the-block whizz kids with the bright ideas they think no-one has ever thought or implemented before. You know the type – heck, you probably sit down with them once a year so they can do your performance review because it’s pretty inevitable , unless you’ve shattered the glass ceiling, that you’re going to find yourself having to deal with a new boss or two in your middle years. Now, don’t get me wrong. I can take orders as well as any woman my age ( you know, grinning through gritted teeth …) But where’s the fun in that? Why miss the opportunity to help your colleagues grow by allowing them find their way around that most challenging of management tasks – motivating the menopausal woman? So, fellow sufferers, here are my 10 steps to managing the new boss.

  • Step 1: Keep your cynicism under wraps
  • Step 2: Flatter him. Done carefully, he’ll lap it up and be putty in your hands.
  • Step 3: Know his priorities. If he doesn’t care about what you’re doing, you’re wasting your time no matter how good a job you’re doing.
  • Step 4: Develop your own credibility – if others trust you, he will too
  • Step 5: Ask for his opinion. He’ll always have one.
  • Step 6: Never present him with a problem unless you have the solution.
  • Step 7: Remember and use the following phrase frequently, “Thank you – that was helpful”
  • Step 8: Always promise a little less than you know you can deliver so you contantly exceed his expectations.
  • Step 9: Once you have him where you want him, delegate up – after all, who is better qualified than him to take on those really challenging tasks?
  • Step 10: Plan what to do with your new-found ‘me’ time.
It’s a fact of life that the longer we’ve been around the office, even in these politically correct times, the more there comes a time when we reach a certain age and risk being seen as difficult simply by virtue of being at that age. My tip for today is, make the most of it ladies!

Warning: Opinions expressed in this blog should not be taken too seriously.

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