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Menopause Survival Kit

Ten essentials for Menopausal women

This list is deliberately unpunctuated so as to mislead you as to my actual age – if you don’t understand this point you may be too young to read the rest of the list

  1.  iPod – there are times when you need to tune the world out
  2. Hand cream – hands reveal age too quickly
  3. Decent and comfortable shoes – because contrary to the previous point, the feet are actually the first thing to go
  4. Trainer heels – because contrary to the previous point, you don’t necessarily want to end up in flats for the rest of your life
  5. Assorted sanitary protection – we know not where nor when
  6. Comfort balm – take your pick – mine is Origins Peace of Mind – a little dab to the back of the neck does wonders to restore the equilibrium
  7.  A sense of proportion – or failing that, a sense of humour
  8. A cranky ‘free pass’ because crankiness goes with the territory so don’t beat yourself up if you fall victim now and then
  9. Wet wipes – because it’s not always possible to take a shower in the middle of the working day  – nor, indeed, is it possible to travel with a bed fan
  10. Credit cards – if all else fails, retail therapy will usually provide a modest lift
One comment   Footwear, Hand cream, Humour, Menopause, Perimenopause   , , , , ,  

A kiss on the cheek can be, Oh so enticing, but …

Well, well, well. After a particularly ratty, hormonally driven hellish day yesterday, what started out as a fairly ordinary day today took a rather interesting turn this afternoon. Let’s just say that, for a woman who spends most of her life in the company of pin striped gentlemen most of whom are engaged in competitive corporate ladder jostling – to maintain if not enhance the current position, life can be pretty much a bore. But today, into this world strides a stranger. A stranger in blue jeans. A stranger with a twinkle in his eye. A stranger with an accent that would break your heart. A stranger with a creative soul. A stranger with a plethora of good stories and a sense of humour to boot. It was the highpoint of the year so far – a meeting that was actually fun. And when it was over, and I escorted the blue jeans hero off the premises, he planted a kiss on my cheek. A sweet gesture that put my heart a flutter briefly and left me in an extraordinarily good mood for the rest of the afternoon. I swear, I won’t wash my face for at least another 24 hours. Ah, what it is to be reminded of those younger hormones. Sadly, before you ask, as I know you feel tempted – I may see him again, but nothing will come of it. After all, Izzy is never unprofessional, now, is she?  ;-)

Leave a comment   Humour, Menopause   , , ,  

The Complimentary Menopause Diary

At this time of year there is no shortage of free diaries. Just about every institution you do business with will want to share a diary or calendar with you – at least that is the case on this side of the world. The mere mention of a calendar reawakens my disappointment at being omitted from the 2010 Pirelli Calendar despite my investment in their very fine tires more than once in 2009 but that is a post for another day. Today it is the turn of the complimentary diary and I begin by confessing that I have had my corporate hands on such a beast in the making over the last couple of months. The process is reaching fruition and my delighted clients will soon own their very own example of the finest that fake leather has to offer. But today, at that moment when you hit send and wonder if you got it wrong, I had a moment’s panic about the Complimentary aspect. What if I misspelled it? What if I raised expectations of an entirely different kind of diary – the kind of diary Snow White’s mother might have wished for? Diary Diary on the Desk, who is the fairest? And it dawned on me what an enormous opportunity I have missed to create the Complimentary Menopause Diary. Here is yet another idea for my menopause inventions wishlist. It would go something like this:

January: 
You are looking somewhat flushed this month my dear, but rarely I have I seen you look more fabulous.

February:
Have you lost weight darling? I think you have.

March:
I love what you’ve done to your hair.

April:
After a whole first quarter of appointments, I can honestly say you are the finest looking woman I have seen in my corporate travels

May:
Never mind the financials, the only figure worth bothering about around here is yours.

June:
Now that summer’s in the air, you are the corporate lass most fair

July:
How hot are you this month my dear!

August:
Ah the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness dawns and who more mellow and fruitful than my menopause mistress?

September:
An Indian Summer is the perfect time to enjoy a little mature wine in the afternoon sunshine. You are the finest wine in the cellar this month – by far.

October:
Ignore all talk of broomsticks, take flight this month on your wings angel.

November:
As winter chills the air, the whole world finds the menopausal woman more fair

December:
Holiday season and all I want for Christmas is a menopause babe like you

The the ideal version of this diary would be like the newspaper in Harry Potter where the pictures move – except in this version, each month would have a mirror, and each mirror would show a progressively more beautiful and less lined you.

Oh the grief when I think what I could have created instead of the dull, predictable little pocket diary that will wing its way towards some of you, my readers, later this month.

Entrepreneurs take note, another free idea courtesy of yours truly, Izzy Muses.

2 comments   Gifts, Humour, Menopause   ,  
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