Menopause Gifts

Not a day goes by that I’m not astonished by what I’m learning on the menopause journey. Reader, you know by now how I long to find the store that stocks the sleep bra, the commuter handbag, the trainer heels, bamboo sheets, how I’m rather dubious about the bed fan and the inflatable husband. My research has thrown up quite a list of undesirable gifts which I share with you here by way of a caution

    1. The disposable nightie – for heavy sweaters
    2. The musical candle – it plays the funeral march apparently
    3. Bra strap pads – to ease the pressure of your sagging boobs on your shoulders
    4. The Hot Flash hankie
    5. The drama queen t-shirt
    6. Chocolate spa gift set
    7. Menopause party invites and gifts
    8. Menopause pins
    9. Menopause The Musical Tickets
  1. Menopause Bumper Stickers

Now pardon my French but to my way of thinking, these are damn crappy gifts to give to an irritable woman. Neither do I want DIY equipment, kitchen appliances nor - despite my recently purchased menopause wellies – am I looking for gardening implements. Instead,  let me suggest a rather better list

  1. Pampering day at the spa
  2. Diamonds – they’re a girl’s best friend
  3. Designer handbags of the capacious variety
  4. Book tokens – let me choose for myself – DO NOT BUY ME MENOPAUSE BOOKS!!!
  5. A cleaner for a day
  6. A chauffeur for a day
  7. Loads and loads of cash so I can pack in the day job
  8. A feather bed
  9. Holidays in warm places and nice hotels
  10. Amazon Kindle or iPhone or super laptop
  11. Macbook Air

My practical advice for today is that you should draw up your own list and make damn sure your nearest and dearest – and their nearest and dearest – are aware of your feelings on the matter. Do not risk the alternative.

Leave a comment   Accessories, Gifts, Handbags, Humour, Menopause   , ,  

Hot nights – fun in the dark – stay cool sisters – it’s the bed fan!

Oh my good gracious. I haven’t been this startled since I found out about World Menopause Day last week. And I hadn’t been THAT startled since someone gave me a “More Fun in the Dark” gift for my 50th that turned out to be a lightning machine. But more of that some other day. Today I take as my theme the Bed fan. The ‘what?’ I hear my Irish readers ask. You heard me right. A bed fan – it supposed to keep you cool at night. Check it out at http://www.bedfan.com/. Who needs to kick off the duvet when you plug one of these babies in at the end of the bed. Sadly they aren’t in the shops here yet but  put ‘em on the list sisters. This one is right up there with the sleep bras and the trainer heels. Go menopause!

Leave a comment   Humour, Menopause   , ,  

Commuter Handbags

Handbags matter a lot when you travel on public transport. Drivers can sling a handbag on the passenger seat and not worry too much if the contents spill out but when you travel by bus or train a good handbag is essential. For a start, you need a safe place to keep your ticket. You don’t want a handbag that is going to weigh you down. You don’t want a handbag that is easily snatched or that an opportunistic thief could reach into. You probably want a handbag that is stylish and waterproof. You also want a bag that won’t get in your way if you have to run to catch a bus. It’s not easy to find a good commuter handbag.
Any day now I will be leaving the car at home and taking the train to work in the city centre. The walk will be good – particularly with menopause and the associated middle-aged spread on the horizon. More importantly, though, it means I need a new ‘commuter’ handbag.
Basic Commuter Handbag Requirements
  • Handbag must be waterproof since it rains a lot in Ireland
  • Handbag must have 2 separate pockets on the outside, one for train ticket, one for iphone
  • Outer pockets must not have magnets since magnets wipe the barcode on the railpass
  • Pockets must be side by side, not one over the other, since iphone wipes barcode on railpass
  • Inside, handbag must be big enough to accommodate a book, a big wallet, water, and makeup bag
  • Strap must be long enough to get on shoulder when wearing winter coat
  • Strap must be short enough to allow handbag to rest securely under arm
  • Strap must be sturdy enough to tolerate increasing weight of bag
  • Strap must be flat enough to sit on shoulder not roll down arm
  • Strap must have 2 straps to faciliate rummaging in handbag while one strap stays on shoulder
  • Zippers must be easy to open, robust but not so strong they break nails or scratch hands
  • Bag must fasten securely at the top to discourage potential wallet pinchers
  • Nice lining is highly desirable
  • Multiple inner pockets are highly desirable
  • Girly keyring attachment is highly desirable
  • Handbag must be made of leather or some other durable material and must not look tacky
  • Handbag must have some desirable hardware that suggests rock chick but in a corporate way
  • Handbag must cost less than 100 euro
  • Handbag must be black or purple – no matter how nice a red bag it is

Handbags that caught my eye but didn’t quite make it include one by Island Real Leather. It’s a nice soft leather bag and roomy inside. It comes with a separate longer shoulder strap which you can switch. But it falls down on the commuter front because it lacks outside pockets. On the plus side, it’s good quality and a decent price. I bought it for my niece, who teaches primary level. She’ll have lots of room in here for the accoutrements she needs to carry around on school days.
Another one that caught my eye is this multi-coloured little number by Kathy Van Zeeland. Isn’t this cute? It’s all in the design. The materials aren’t a patch on the leather bag but this one just looks so damn pretty. I bought it too – this time as a gift for a student niece who spends a lot of time socialising with friend. This is big enough to fit your makeup, wallet and keys – maybe even a book too – but it’s not an everyday bag for a real working woman. I hope she’s going to like it.

So, at the end of my third separate shopping trip in search of the commuter handbag, I’m two bags up but still no bag to get me through the winter. It’s a little like the elusive ‘sleep bra’ I blogged about on another occasion. There may be market opportunities out there for those with an interest in something other than alternative HRT products aimed at the menopausal market.

4 comments   Accessories, Commuting, Fashion, Women   , ,