Why you should avoid Mark and Susan if you want to stay married!

© Artem Merzlenko | Dreamstime.com

I don’t know any Theos. Not yet, at least. I do know a couple of Liams but I don’t fancy them and the only celebrity Liams I can think of are Ricky’s son in Eastenders and Liam Gallagher. The only Roy I’ve come across is Roy Cropper in Coronation Street and Izzy won’t be competing with Hayley any time soon for that one.

The other thing I won’t be doing this year is crying in the vicinity of men since science has discovered that there is something in women’s tears that dampens testosterone. Crying is a turn off. Maybe we didn’t need science to tell us that – but now according to media reports this week,  it appears to have been proved.

But what’s this fixation with names, I hear you ask. Well, research by www.divorce-online.co.uk  has revealed that Mark and Susan are the most common names amongst people filing for divorce  in the UK. Men called Theo, Roy and Liam are the least likely to get divorced  while Penelope, Shannon and Sofia seem to be the safest bet for men wanting to hold on to their wives. 

Mark Keenan, MD of  www.divorce-online.co.uk said, “I was a little horrified to see that my first name was top of the most common names in our client list and I will definitely be keeping this information from my wife.”

Divorce-Online is an uncontested divorce service that allows couples across the UK to conduct their own divorce proceedings without having to visit a solicitor.

I’m not planning to contact them any time soon so, to badly paraphrase a certain Miss Jane Austen, if you are a midlife Theo in possession of a good fortune and in want of a wife you might do worse than to write to me. Formally, of course. Please include photographs of your wonderful estates in Pembrokeshire. I look forward to hearing from you.