Not a day goes by that I’m not astonished by what I’m learning on the menopause journey. Reader, you know by now how I long to find the store that stocks the sleep bra, the commuter handbag, the trainer heels, bamboo sheets, how I’m rather dubious about the bed fan and the inflatable husband. My research has thrown up quite a list of undesirable gifts which I share with you here by way of a caution
- The disposable nightie – for heavy sweaters
- The musical candle – it plays the funeral march apparently
- Bra strap pads – to ease the pressure of your sagging boobs on your shoulders
- The Hot Flash hankie
- The drama queen t-shirt
- Chocolate spa gift set
- Menopause party invites and gifts
- Menopause pins
- Menopause The Musical Tickets
- Menopause Bumper Stickers
Now pardon my French but to my way of thinking, these are damn crappy gifts to give to an irritable woman. Neither do I want DIY equipment, kitchen appliances nor - despite my recently purchased menopause wellies – am I looking for gardening implements. Instead, let me suggest a rather better list
- Pampering day at the spa
- Diamonds – they’re a girl’s best friend
- Designer handbags of the capacious variety
- Book tokens – let me choose for myself – DO NOT BUY ME MENOPAUSE BOOKS!!!
- A cleaner for a day
- A chauffeur for a day
- Loads and loads of cash so I can pack in the day job
- A feather bed
- Holidays in warm places and nice hotels
- Amazon Kindle or iPhone or super laptop
- Macbook Air
My practical advice for today is that you should draw up your own list and make damn sure your nearest and dearest – and their nearest and dearest – are aware of your feelings on the matter. Do not risk the alternative.
